Attempted Tears
by lezonne
Summary: Last piece of the Attempted Series. Touches on depression and acceptance. everything she has ben through, Hermione still suffers through the fourth symptom of depression, depression itself. But when Malfoy finally pulls her from the feelings cold fingers, how will she repay him?


**A/n: **It's been a while, but here is the fourth installment. Thanks again to my beta **TheInvisiblePrincess**. **Not yet edited.

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**Part 4: Attempted Tears**

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A week passed and he watched her from a distance. How strange it was, to be so close to someone one moment and just watching her pass in the halls and to her room at other times. Merlin, they were never solid with anything; they seemed to either be distanced or too close for either to understand. For Draco, it caused a constant headache.

He had been watching her though, even from a distance. She still wasn't her normal self, and seemed more depressed then ever before. Weasley may as well not know her name with the way he acted like she wasn't even there. It made the blond roll his eyes. That ginger was an absolute prick. He might be fine with the way things ended- or at least appeared so- but Granger wasn't fooling anyone. Potter had been seen asking her if she was alright, looking on with worried expressions, more then once a class period the past week. _At least the idiot cares, even if he is dense._

She was certainly depressed. He sat in class one day, observing her body language. Hunched over a desk, head down, dark clothing, bags under eyes. Poor Granger was a mess.

_Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance; she's slowly going down the line, maybe in a few weeks she will be over this entire ordeal. I certainly hope so. _He watched her in each of their classes, looking for a sign that she was healing and not digging herself a hole to wallow in. After a week he became concerned; nothing had improved.

_It's been a week… do I expect her to be bubbling over with happiness and rubbing it in Weasley's face? Perhaps I am over-reacting. She needs time, right?_

_She's had time…_

He kept watching her. She was seated next to Longbottom, who seemed rather lost on why she was so sad. He kept glancing over at Potter and Weasley with a confused expression that Potter mirrored, and Weasley ignored. The blond wasn't sure how well this was going to go.

So he really frowned when he saw Weasley later, parading around with that slut from before on his arm, acting as though nothing bothered him. It was quite disgusting. It looked like the girl tried to swallow him when they kissed, and Draco was so hoping she would. At least then he wouldn't be the reason Malfoy's roommate kept crying. With a sigh, the blond glanced over at the Gryffindor standing across the hall, eyes downcast.

Draco waited until after the ginger had rounded a corner with the girl before approaching Granger. It would look odd in the hall if they spoke civilly, but for the moment he needed to get her attention. "Granger," he hissed, drawing her attention.

There were her eyes again, that haunting expression back in them; again, after a month, they looked dead. He felt his heart plummet. Was this really having that big of an impact on her?

"Granger," he said again, glancing around. Thankfully no one seemed that interested in their conversation at prior. "You look a bit… grey."

She shrugged, moving to pass him in the hall. "I suppose," she muttered, glancing around as though she were specifically avoiding someone. He was sure he could guess just who she was searching out, and fell into step beside her as they headed off towards their next class- Care of Magical Creatures.

"Stop worrying about him," the blond said, shrugging. "You're just upsetting yourself more, so stop bloody worrying." He ran a hand through his hair. "You're making it harder on yourself Granger."

She didn't even glance at him. "I'm coping," she said quietly, as they entered the classroom. She immediately found a spot beside Neville and put her head down. The blond grimaced, and moved to sit on his side of the room, beside Blaise.

He wondered when she would begin to act like herself again.

* * *

Hermione arrived back to the dorm first that night, knowing Malfoy would be at dinner. She threw herself down onto the bed and cried.

Oh yes, it was terribly pathetic. She felt so beaten, she didn't even want to think about this little crying person being her. How could she? Hermione Granger was supposed to be strong and determined, not whiny and pathetic, lying crying on her bed.

She wasn't quite sure how long she laid there wetting her pillow, but at length she finally pulled back and whipped her eyes, thankful Malfoy had yet still to return. She just didn't want to answer his questions at the moment. Sniffling in private was bad enough, but she didn't need Slytherin's Prince standing behind her, just watching and spitting out his usual comments of getting over it.

Standing, she wandered into the adjoined bathroom, barely shutting the door. She stood in front of the mirror, glaring back at her reflection. Merlin, she really did look awful, and it was all her own fault. It wasn't a wonder anymore about why she had been stared at openly the entire day, and why three Hufflepuff's had asked if they could help. Suddenly the privacy of her dorm was even better, for now she could look over herself carefully, and really discover the flaws she had once missed.

After all, he had to cheat for a reason, right?

With a sigh, she began studying her face. It was puffy at the moment, but she tried to look past that. Her nose was a bit on the small side, her lips a bit large, and her eyes boring. The hair around her face was puffy., like it had always been, but now lay in soft ringlets. Lavender kept her hair straight these days, so maybe that was a flaw.

Moving back from the mirror, she took in her upper body. Her breasts were nothing spectacular, probably a bit small, but they matched her narrow shoulders. She was slim, but not quite slim enough if Ron was after girls like Lavender, who were nothing more than tall twigs, and her hips her not too large, making it seem like she lacked curves more then she already did. With a sigh, she hugged herself. Why couldn't she be good enough?

Or thin enough?

From the corner of her eye, she spotted the toilet, a plan forming in her mind. It was awfully unhealthy, but she could lose the pounds quickly, right?

Gulping, she squared her shoulders and turned around.

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Draco arrived back at the dorm an hour after dinner, knowing he would need to talk to Granger; she was far too hung up on this entire ordeal. Ignoring her room for the moment, he walked into his and dropped his belongings, prepared to talk to her.

That's when the stench hit him; the disgusting smell of fresh vomit, and he crinkled his nose. What in Merlin's name… he walked into the bathroom to find the source of the smell, but the evidence gone. The toilet smelled terrible, and he used his wand to cast a sweetening spell on the room, as well as sanitize the object. Nose still crinkled, he continued right onto the girls bedroom, throwing her door open before she could ever offer.

She was curled up on her bed crying. He cringed, thinking how often he seemed to find her like this. Really, she needed to move on; this was unhealthy.

"Granger," he snapped, his voice tired. Really, he wasn't in the mood to be unusually nice, and wanted to get to the bottom of the stench in the bathroom. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

She looked up then, eyes puffy, meeting his own. "Crying," she said, her voice hoarse from the action. He came and sat on the bed beside her as she spoke, and the same smell he had just removed attacked his nose again.

"Why were you sick," he asked, his voice cold. Why did she keep doing this?

She looked down, but he would have none of that. Grabbing her chin, he forced her to meet his eyes once again. "Why were you sick," he asked again, meeting her gaze. Her expected if he wasn't gripping her chin so tightly that she might just be shaking.

"I needed to make myself better," she whispered. His eyes grew as he took in her meaning. "I needed to make myself better than I am. I needed to lose the weight, put the make up on, and be one of those girls that everyone wants."

He stood and stepped away from her, appalled by what he was hearing. "What," he snapped, shaking his head. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you Granger? Why are you so sad? You just stood up to that Weasel, you just redeemed yourself, and here you are throwing yourself back down into that whole that you just pulled yourself out of? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

She hardened her gaze, standing as well. "Why Malfoy, you ask why?" She threw her hands out! "This is why- this whole situation!" She swiped at her face, banishing the remaining tears, "I may have stood up to Ron, but what good did it do me? He still trashed my reputation by going out with Lavender, he still cheated on me when I wouldn't give him what he wanted to _further _our relationship." She threw her hands up. "That's why Malfoy! That's why I am doing this! That's why I am making myself sick and crying and pushing myself down; I have to be doing something wrong. What did I do in our relationship that made him want to push me away so easily, and move onto something better? What did I do wrong?"

He stepped forwards, gripping her shoulders and meeting her gaze. He was done listening to this. "You did _nothing _wrong Granger, you just stood your ground. So what if he wanted sex out of your relationship? Unlike most of the girls at this school, you actually had the mind to say no, to wait until whenever it is you plan to lose it. Just because Weasley wanted that doesn't mean you had to go through with it." He stroked her cheek softly. "You did nothing wrong Granger; you stuck to your own ideas. You didn't give in. Why are you being so bloody hard on yourself? It should be his loss that he lost a great girl, not yours that you lost an idiot. Changing yourself to _get back at _him will do no good, do you understand? When people change themselves to get back at someone else, it usually has the opposite effect." He moved one of his hands up, grabbing her chin again when she began to look down. "Don't change anything about yourself Granger that you wouldn't without an outside influence. The only way you will ever find somebody new is to move past this. You are your own person, and you need to act like it."

Those words hit her hard, and she pushed him away, but not out of anger. Stumbling back to sit on her bed, she stared at the floor. How long had it been since Ron betrayed her? Who knew at this point. And yet she was about to start changing all sorts of aspects about herself to make him see that she was different? _People change themselves to get back at someone else, it usually has the opposite effect._

Malfoy had a point. She had just turned Ron down when he came back to her, and trying to change herself for him would only draw his attention once more. The blond came to sit beside her on the bed as she got lost in her thoughts, and before he really had time to process anything her arms were thrown around him, her head burned in the crook of his neck. Surprise was not a strong enough word here, and he slowly placed his arms around her slim form.

"Granger, what are you doing?"

She didn't pull away, just turned her head to the side so she could continue to lean on his warmth. "Malfoy," she said, ignoring his statement, "Did you ever know that I have come to trust you?"

He was stunned, and immediately forgot his own question as well. Locking his arms a bit firmer around her form, he rested his head on hers.

"I had hoped that you did."

* * *

It seemed to happen almost overnight. Hermione slowly began to stop trying to change, slowly stopped hiding away from everyone, and wandered around school with her head a tiny bit higher. She didn't done the ridiculous amounts of make-up that many of the girls did, and instead took Draco's words to heart and kept her natural look. If anyone noted her confidence at all, Ron was certainly the one paying the most attention. She constantly had mood swings, but whenever she came out of one she always returned to class in higher spirits than before.

Even Harry and Ginny didn't exactly understand it. They only knew that Ron seemed to have the answers, but with his continues mood changes and opinions, they opted to not ask him. Chances were he would lie.

The students of Hogwarts's began to watch her heal.

It had been nearly a month when Hermione finally spoke to Draco again about the topic. They were sitting together one night in the library as they had come to do lately, and he was pretending to read something for Ancient Literature when she spoke.

"I don't quite know if I can ever thank you enough for helping me," she said, breaking the silence that had been hanging over them the last several minutes/ He looked up, noting the serious look on her face, and shut his book, placing it on the desk before them.

"You don't have to thank me Granger. I may have said that before, but obviously I need to reinstate it again. Either I had to step in and help you, or those ignorant friends of yours were going to let something awful happen to you- like something almost did." A short silence settled between them again as they remembered that night ages ago, the one that had taken place at the lake.

"But I should do something," she said, still watching him closely. He inclined an eyebrow at this, waiting for her to continue. "You've saved my life Malfoy- on more than one occasion probably- and you have kept me from making horrible choices these last few months."

"I suppose I have," he said, hesitantly, afraid of where she was taking this. He just couldn't figure it out.

She stood, slowly collecting her books. He watched her do so, wondering what in Merlin's name she thought she was doing. Apparently he would finish studying by himself. As he opened his book again to continue reading, she stood in front of him and he glanced up. She had all of her things on her now, so there was no reason for her to stop right there.

"Yes Granger?"

Before her nerves could catch up to her, before anything could really set in, she bent at the waist and grabbed his face softly, holding his head in place. He was not at all prepared when her lips softly danced over his.

"Thank you Malfoy," she whispered, pulling back. A blush stained her cheeks and she was quick to turn her back, hurrying from the library. He watched her go, a dumbstruck look plastered across his face the entire time.

_That's how she says thank you?_

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**A/n: **Let me know what you thought. There is one final piece to this story that will eventually get up here, but we finally got to the fourth piece and romance :D Hope you enjoyed it.


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